


habits

by fruti2flutie



Category: Fruits Basket
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Post-Canon, Spoilers, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29598357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruti2flutie/pseuds/fruti2flutie
Summary: If someone were to ask Rin how she's changed over the years, she can't give a proper answer. Change is complicated, arduous, and confusing — like a winding path with no direction or destination. When she tags along for a Christmas shopping trip with Kagura and Tohru, she lets herself take another step forward.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	habits

**Author's Note:**

> this is my full piece for [@furubazine](https://twitter.com/ThanksFuruba)!!!! so grateful to have had this work put into print 🥰 be sure to check out the leftover sale happening on february 22 bc everything abt this zine is INCREDIBLE!!!!!

Almost immediately, Rin regrets opening her mouth. The slip-up never should've happened in the first place, and it's as embarrassing as it is bothersome. She's gone soft, leading her to voice her thoughts at dinner and cause Kagura to nearly overturn the table in shock. 

"You want to go _shopping_? With me and _Tohru-kun_? This _Saturday_?" 

Rin presses a palm to her forehead. "That's _not_ what I said," she declares flatly. 

"That's _basically_ what you said," Kagura counters gruffly.

Basically is not equivalent to actually. "I want to give Haru a present for Christmas," was what Rin had _actually_ said. It was more like a whisper — a breath of air that happened to contain a phrase. The words _shopping_ , _Tohru-kun_ , and _Saturday_ never left her mouth but somehow became the things Kagura zeroed in on. 

"I have to call Tohru-kun later to tell her about our plans!"

Rin makes a face, confused and indignant. "I didn't make any plans with you."

Kagura narrows her eyes. "How else do you think you'll survive at the mall? I don't really trust you going alone."

"I would be... fine." _Probably._

"Nothing's wrong with some emotional support from your family," Kagura says. "Besides, I'm positive you'll appreciate our company."

Unfortunately, she's right, but Rin won't admit it. Looking away, she grumbles, "I hate you." 

Kagura takes a slice of green pepper from her plate. She grins, smug, and that's the end of the debate. 

——

When the weekend comes, Rin still has regrets but now with a legitimate reason: Kagura wants to walk to the mall. Normally, Rin enjoys walking. The current problem is the weather, which casts ominous darkness over the noonday sun.

And yet, Kagura is cheerfully humming a tune, readying to depart, as Rin sulks three meters away.

"I'm not going."

"Don't be stingy," Kagura chides as she buttons her coat. "Tohru is only free today. You can't just cancel out of nowhere!"

"There is _literally_ a snowstorm outside. That's not 'out of nowhere'."

"You're being dramatic!" Kagura puts her hands on her hips and leans forward. "What, are you gonna tell me _no_? Are you gonna tell _Tohru_ no? Hm?"

Rin frowns. "You're being unfair."

Pulling on her scarf, Kagura proclaims, "Life's unfair, so I get to be unfair, too!"

"You don't make any sense," Rin mutters, begrudgingly putting on her boots while Kagura resumes humming.

Once they step outside, Rin discovers she'd definitely exaggerated the intensity of the weather. The snow isn't bad at all, flakes gently wisping across the sky. However, there's enough snow piled on the ground to slow her usual brisk pace and consequently leave her grumpily inconvenienced. As a result, Kagura is able to loop her arm through Rin's with little resistance. She's met with an agitated groan but nothing more, making her grin without comment.

The walking is surprisingly nice, though, seeing the frosted neighborhood and hearing muted noises of the city. Neither of them has ever liked the bustle of urban areas or the convenience of public transportation. The crowds are much too packed for comfort. The aftermath of bumping into the wrong person has never been worth the risk. 

_Had,_ Rin mentally revises. It _had_ never been worth the risk. Despite her current state, the habit is ingrained into her muscle memory and behavior — hers and eleven others, formerly bound by chains and empty promises. The Curse had forced them all together, but she had done everything in her power to run from it and relent. Even so, the Horse was a part of her, in her soul, as were the links to the Zodiac. She had feared the inevitability of connections and intimacy, except now she doesn't have to be afraid — none of them do.

She's allowed to love without guilt, keep the ones she holds dear close, and make her own decisions not out of fear but freedom. If she and Kagura really wanted, they could ride the subway undeterred. But her mind supplies the image of a five-foot-tall horse and a wild boar, waiting behind the yellow line amongst a crowd of strangers, and she suddenly realizes that she feels...

"Cold?" Kagura's face pops to the forefront of Rin's line of sight. "If you are, I can lend you my scarf. I won't tell Haru, either," she adds with a wink. 

"I'm not cold," Rin says, but Kagura removes and wraps her scarf around her neck anyway. "I said I'm not cold."

"Do you feel better?"

Rin touches the soft fabric. It smells of perfume, like the flowers that have names and meanings she can never remember. "Yeah," she whispers. 

"So you _were_ cold."

"Shut up."

At the entrance to the mall, Tohru is waiting for them. She's blowing hot air into her hands, wearing a long overcoat and a muffler. Once she sees Rin and Kagura heading in her direction, she perks up and meets them halfway. 

"I like your scarf, Isuzu-san," Tohru compliments. When Rin begins to unravel it in lieu of responding, she wails, "W-W-Why!?"

"Rin's just embarrassed, is all," Kagura teases. "It's actually _my_ scarf. She was chilly, so I wrapped her all snug in it." Tohru's expression can only be described as horribly endeared. 

"You are _both_ embarrass _ing._ " Rin observes Tohru's red nose along with Kagura's pink cheeks, and then she huffs, "We're wasting time out here." She turns on her heel and pulls open the door, holding it just long enough for the other two to take the hint. 

Inside, the mall is decorated for the season. The exteriors of shops are lined with golden or twinkling lights. The floors of display cases have puffs of cotton imitating snow. Christmas cheer fills the air, and Rin struggles to hold back sneezes. 

"What kind of gifts are you looking for, Tohru-kun?" Kagura asks. 

Tohru taps her chin thoughtfully. "Clothes...? Hana-chan likes hats, and Kyo-kun needs more dress shirts. He only has casual tees, but he should really..." Her cheeks redden, and Kagura snickers. "U-Um... How about you?"

"My friends are simpletons, so they'd probably just want generic greeting cards full of cash. _But,_ since that's not thoughtful at all, I was thinking of getting them home decor items since most of them are moving away soon."

"Oh, that's clever," Tohru says. "Isuzu-san, are you getting anything specific for Hatsuharu-san?"

Rin twists her lips, shrugging. The thought of gift-giving, up until this point, has only been just that: a thought. It hadn't even crossed her mind that she needs to _get_ _something_ to give him. She bites her lip, annoyed. "Not sure yet."

"We can go searching for inspiration!" Tohru announces cheerfully, thereby leading a charge that Kagura (happily) and Rin (reluctantly) follow.

They hop from store to store, examining potential presents for their friends and family. First, a candy store, where Tohru personalizes a bag of sweets. Then, a game store, where Tohru buys a matching _Mogeta_ figurine set and Kagura nearly breaks a controller after losing in a demo. Afterward, a furniture store, where Kagura purchases approximately twenty-five decorative glass dishes (of which she only breaks fourteen). And lastly, a clothing store, where Kagura sprints to the fitting room and Rin idly browses the shelves.

"Isuzu-san," Tohru calls, catching Rin's attention, "come look at this!" She's pointing at a rack of earrings, specifically, a pair that hangs on the bottom row: solid black studs with white accents. "Don't you think it would fit Hatsuharu-san?"

Rin stares at the accessory, feels a sudden ache in her chest, and blurts out, "What's the point?" She inhales sharply, looking away from Tohru's imploring gaze. "I-I mean, just because it _fits_ him doesn't mean he'd even like it."

Tohru considers this. Then, she asks, "Is that what you're worrying about?"

Rin blinks, taken aback. _Is_ that what she's worrying about? 

"Personally," Tohru continues, completely unprompted, "I'm always nervous giving gifts for that exact reason. Intrusive thoughts make me second-guess myself. What if they don't like what I chose? Would they still accept it?"

Rin stays silent, listening. 

"While it may sound cheesy, I believe no matter what the gift is, it's the thought that counts. As long as you choose a gift with them in mind and heart, I believe they'll understand your intentions and appreciate the gift regardless of what it is."

Her words comfort Rin — she finds comfort in Tohru. Tohru does this so naturally and effortlessly, and Rin can't believe how blessed she is to have this girl in her life. Blessed to have a friend that can make her feel validated for being nervous, showing hesitation. Tohru lets Rin be herself and it's always been as simple as that, like watching the grass grow after winter ends. 

"You should get it for Haru," Rin declares. 

Tohru's smile morphs into a perfect square of confusion. "Wha— Me!?"

"You're probably trying to give all the Sohmas gifts anyway, right?" Rin smirks as Tohru nods meekly. "I've got an idea for something else, but... thanks anyway."

Tohru brightens. Rin grimaces, shoving a hand at Tohru's face so the other girl can't see her blush. 

Soon, Kagura emerges from the fitting room in what appears to be a potato sack with sleeves. "How do I look?" she asks, twirling in place.

"I thought we were getting gifts," Rin remarks.

"You're allowed to get yourself a gift," Kagura reasons. "Anyway, answer the question."

"Hideous," Rin replies immediately. 

Tohru squeaks and Kagura pouts, dissatisfied.

Rin rolls her eyes. "Who told you that _brown_ was your color? You need something more vibrant to fit your style. Try primary colors."

"Aw, Rin," Kagura coos, "you _like_ me."

"That— That's _not_ what I said!" Rin whips her head towards Tohru, who's smiling. " _Stop that._ " 

Eventually, Kagura finds a frilly yellow top she likes (recommended by Rin, supported by Tohru) and buys it for herself. Tohru gets the earrings, several dress shirts, and a loose sweatshirt. Rin doesn't buy anything, but she eyes the art supply store on the second level as they leave the mall. 

On their way home, while the girls chat aimlessly with bags in hand, Rin realizes that walking together makes her feel... a little less lonely.

——

Rin paints for them. Acrylic on canvas paper, small enough to tuck away but large enough to be displayed. It's a decision she makes after careful consideration, after letting herself wonder about compassion, about sensitivity, about happiness. In the end, she finds inspiration in the meaning of flora. 

Violas, for Tohru. Royal flowers that curve towards the sky, yearning for sunlight. Representing faith and love, things Rin often forgets she's allowed to experience, Tohru reminds her that she's _allowed_ — a vague, limitless notion, filled with possibilities. Broad, deliberate strokes overlap petal upon petal, not one insignificant. Rin remembers when Tohru had hugged Rin's worn out sketchbook to her chest, said words she can't repeat but can feel, warm and content. 

Snowdrops, for Kagura. Drooping blossoms of white, sprouting in adversity from the cold earth. The flower represents innocence, sympathy, rebirth. The last word makes her hand shake as she paints green over the stems. She knows they both feel it, down to their bones, how new they are becoming without the Zodiac. But she also knows Kagura is living her life to the fullest, discovering who she is and letting Rin be there for the journey.

And for Haru, roses. Rin doesn't need to search for the symbolism; the implications are implicit in their humanity. Beauty marred by thorns. Passion imbued in crimson. A vase next to a hospital bed. Before she's even realized it, there are roses growing all over the page. She counts ten, and decides one more wouldn't hurt. 

So, Rin isn't sure what they'll think of these gifts. She hopes, with an absurd amount of hesitation and excitement, that they'll like them, because these terribly amateur gifts are the ones she wants to give.


End file.
